thoughts from the stillness

Now listen, you who say today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, if it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that. James 4:13-15

I wrote in my Bible (don’t know when, don’t know what it’s from): Worry = arrogance/a refusal to assume a humble position b4 God; instead, we should say – I don’t worry because I don’t know what will happen, I put myself in your care

The Bible notes to this verse say: it is good to have goals, but goals will disappoint us if we leave God out of them. There is no point in making plans as if God does not exist because the future IS in his hands…how will you react if God steps in and rearranges your plans? Plan ahead, but hold your plans loosely…put God’s desires at the center of your planning; he will never disappoint you…Live for God today! Then, no matter when your life ends, you will have fulfilled God’s plan for you.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Brita reminded me of this prayer today at lunch.

Tranquility, calmness, peacefulness, quietude, quietness, stillness, composure – these words come up as synonyms for serenity when I right click the term.

I used to think of serenity as resignation – well, if I can’t get what I want, let me know I’ll be ok kind of mindset. But it is so much more than that. It’s peace. It’s a stillness, it’s beseeching God to enter the inner chamber of my heart and grant a sense of quiet, a sense of calmness, that only He can give. He says, “I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.” Yes, the world does not offer a peace like this. Not even close. Be still, he tells us, be still.

He can be found in the stillness I’m reminded as it’s close to midnight and all I can hear is the gentle hum of my laptop and the faint chirp of crickets. My worried mind You quiet. You are with me even now, even here. I won’t have another Friday to be still like this for another month and it is sweet. I am not lonely. I am not wishing I could be anywhere else. I like my pink bed, being perched on the pillows, my room, my space. And I really like this quiet. This is not a typical Friday. I’ve finished and reviewed two sections for the LSAT. Need I review more tonight? I’m on track according to my schedule. I have all day tomorrow. I’m scoring slightly under my “goal” score. My friend informed me today that she scored really well on some practice tests so she’s not worried about it, she’s not concerned about it. I haven’t scored well; I am concerned. It was exciting looking over the law school admission process – tonight I polished my resume, tomorrow or the next day I will work on a cover letter for people I’m approaching to ask if they’d write a recommendation. I have time to do these things. This weekend is the weekend to do it, too.

Tomorrow Tridelt is having a tailgate for Family Weekend. I’m going. Seniors have to say what we are doing/wanting to do next year. I’m not sure if anyone knows at this point; I think most of us know what we’d like to do. I don’t think I am going to the game. I went to most of them, even the away games, last year. Since I decided this is my weekend to work, I’ve kinda gotten in that zone and that’s what I want to do. I’ll have to remember that Friday nights aren’t the best for productivity. Since it’s the end of the long week, I study for about 40 minutes then break for even longer and that’s ok. How many other folks are spending their Friday in a similar manner? Next Friday Clint will return. That next Wednesday is fall break, and that Saturday is the LSAT. The next week is homecoming week for Furman.

Senior year is great.