secure

Oh dear.

I had set aside this afternoon for LSAT prep and am really just not feeling it. I’ve gotten through some logic puzzles, “games” if you will, and haven’t had nearly the success I had on reading comprehension. Not to mention… it’s a beautiful day outside. Instead of getting anxious that my dream of law school hinges on this test I’m not exactly mastering, I’m going to be positive and assure myself that I’ll prepare the best I can these next 4 weeks. I’ll do my best…that’s all I can do. A lot can happen in 4 weeks. I wish I could make a trip to Murfreesboro to see Clint but know I need the weekends in between now and Oct. 4 to study in order to honestly say I gave this test my best shot. If I spend the weekends in between playing and not working, that wouldn’t be the case now would it.

I love how this weekend I went to bed earlier than I do on the weeknights. I needed to go to bed early last night because this morning I went to church (Redeemer) with Stephanie and Chelsea bright and early. I went to Redeemer a lot freshman and sophomore year and it was so good to be back.

Today was Communion Sunday. Communion Sunday has a refreshing, revitalizing power and this Sunday was no exception. Perhaps that is why, in a childish way, I feel discouraged by the premise of standardized tests where you have to perform, show you’re good enough, smart enough, in order to compete with hundreds for coveted acceptance letters, because as Pastor Toby pointed out today, God doesn’t turn anyone away from His table. God doesn’t get discouraged with me even when I get discouraged with myself, like right now.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and I will give you rest…whoever comes to me I will never drive away” (Matt. 11:28, John 6:37)

Toby said God’s table is the “great equalizer” – others may be smarter, not as smart, nicer, not as nice, prettier, uglier, richer, poorer, more or less successful than me, but Jesus doesn’t care about those things. As the Sunscreen song says, “Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.” Jesus calls us to put down the measuring stick because with Him, our lot is secure.

Communion Sunday is a reminder of how Jesus gives. Jesus gives us this meal as an assurance that what was done on the cross is finished and secure. And if that’s the case, for those who believe, our destiny in eternity is also secure. We gain from His reward because His wounds have paid our ransom.

In church we read from the Heidelberg catechism, question 75, that I am going to type out to go back over this precious truth.
How does the Lord’s Supper remind you and assure you that you share in Christ’s one sacrifice on the cross and in all his gifts?
In this way: Christ has commanded me and all believers to eat this broken bread and drink this cup. With this command he gave this promise: first, as surely as I see with my eyes the bread of the Lord broken for me and the cup given to me, so surely his body was offered and broken for me and his blood poured out for me on the cross. Second, as surely as I receive from the hand of the one who serves, and taste with my mouth the bread and the cup of the Lord, given to me as sure signs of Christ’s body and blood, so surely he nourishes and refreshes my soul for eternal life with his crucified body and poured out blood.

So in this quest of mine to rock out on the LSAT, I can give the best I can and it may not be enough, but I can do my best anyway. My life won’t be over if I can’t get into law school. As Mother Teresa says, “in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

So I think I’ll go for a walk/run, reflecting back over the lesson from Communion while stretching my legs, then attack the test prep, calmer, having been refreshed...