*Nat's bachelorette weekend festivities*

You know the feeling where you're really excited about an event you have been anticipating for a long time and you're hoping it will be fun and everything will go well and smoothly? Well, the bachelorette weekend I hosted was everything I hoped it would be and sooooo much more! I knew it would be fun, but I didn't know how much fun; it was AWESOME!!! It went SO well and was SO fun and the wedding is less than 20 days away (18, to be exact) and we are SO excited!

There are also 18 more days of college classes left. My motivation for school work is at an all time low. I become more worthless in regards to school work with each passing day. I’m in law school. I have a fun summer ahead of me. I just want to spend as much time with my favorite people, doing whatever I want. School work, school work, go away, come again another day – (how about August 17, first day of classes? Ya, my motivation can come back that day, too. K, thanks). The weekends are what get me through the week. And I have some very fun ones to look forward to:

Tridelt Formal this weekend.

Then Easter.

Then sister’s WEDDING.

Then ?

Then prepping for exams...or hopefully enjoying the May sunshine.

Then GRADUATION.

WHOA!!! When did this happen??

And, not to mention, this past weekend was AMAZING. It began on Thursday, which is always fun (three cheers for a four day weekend!). I NEVER skipped class in high school, but I have every now and then in college, more so this semester than any other I feel.

As soon as I arrived back in Brentwood on Thursday, I picked up Clint and we went to hang out with Nat, Mike, & Loca. Nat & I made treats for her party and we watched some March Madness with the boys & pug.

Friday I visited Madame Bowen & Nathan in their French class. She is my favorite teacher of all time, and it was so nice to see/surprise her. Then I had lunch with one of my dearest friends Emily, and then ran some errands for the big bachelorette party. Made cupcakes and went grocery shopping with Clint and then got all dolled up! I decided on wearing a sparkly sequin shirt and some pink shorts. Nat had showed me her dress for the night out on the town and it had rhinestones on it, so I wanted something equally fun to wear!

One of the bridesmaids helped us with food and we had *treats* galore! The guests all gathered and got their fill, and we caught cabs downtown and started at Roberts, then Paradise Park, Cadillac Ranch, you know, some great honky tonks. Nat's friends were all so friendly and fun and so happy to be together. I decked out my sister, the bride-to-be, in plenty of pink - boa, tiara, beads, a sign with her and Mike's picture that said "I'm marrying this guy in 22 days! Woo hoo get me a drink," a big 50 karate plastic bling ring, and she had a martini glass with a veil on it. I had made glasses for all the guests with beads (pink and silver) along the rim with everyone's name on them. We had 13 guests in all I'd say. Wonderful girls, hilarious girls, such fun girls. I had such a blast having drinks and dancing the night away with them. I documented a good bit of the night. Haha, got some really sweet candid shots on film.

Saturday was a lazy, "chill" day and the bride-to-be and her guests went out to the farm. We had Moe's catering for dinner and more snacks and movies (Sex and the City, 27 Dresses) waiting on us for later. We sat outside because it was like 70 and so nice, then it started raining, then hailing probably golf ball sized hail but they were of a slushie consistency not solid ice so they didn't dent anything,but yeah, there was a tornado funnel cloud over the farm! Freaky! The weather changed so fast. We watched Sex and the City, had dinner, and Nat had her lingerie shower and we played a few games. By that time it was late so we went to bed. The day went by so fast and was just filled with fun! She said the weekend was just what she wanted - going out Friday night and a laid back Saturday. Yay!

Sunday Nat had a bridal shower that I stayed in town for - probably 40 family friends all in one place! There was so much excitement and energy and happiness! I mentioned to my mom that the shower was a glimpse of what the wedding's going to be like, x 20-50! There was yummy cakes and cucumber sandwiches and salad and punch. The hostesses did such a lovely job and everyone had such a good time and my sister had a ball! She was so happy! Her nametag said "you should know who I am" haha, oh Nat! That's the last of the showers I do believe. I was still on cloud nine my whole drive back, so happy for my sister and for my family, that we will be getting such a wonderful addition in Mike, and just thinking of how fun the wedding festivities will be! Can't wait for April 18!!!!

word.

OK.

'Bout to make my case. I have compiled quotes from 7 scholarly articles by typing them out into a working word document that, though time consuming, will make them easily accessible for the task at hand. I've got to put together a rough draft for my Beowulf final essay tonight; I'm arguing that Unferth is a malicious, evil character. It can be done. Where there's a will there's a way, I just need enough will to get me through.

Finish this rough draft and I will be in a good place.

Tomorrow I'm turning it in and presenting an article to the same class on a different topic. Then I am driving home, well, straight to my sister's. We're making snacks for her bachelorette party, and Clint is coming over to hang out, too. Perhaps he will bring the spring break dvd so we can watch it? Yessss. We will watch that and the Memphis Tigers, gooo Memphis!

Then Friday I have lunch with Miss Em and the bachelorette party weekend begins! I just checked; the weather for Friday is supposed to be partly cloudy, high in the lower 70s, lows in the upper 50s, 10% chance of rain, keeping my fingers crossed, but it should be peeeerfect for Nat's big night out on the town!

Saturday is a chill day, ending in a slumber party at the farm and Sunday is a shower for Nat with family friends! I can't wait to see all the ladies; my mom has some very fabulous friends! I hope I will be as fun & fit & vivacious & wise when I am in my 40s-50s as they are!

This whirlwind of a day is almost over and a glorious 4 day weekend awaits! Going to get some apple juice, taking a break from this lap top, then I'm going to pull this paper together! Holla!

can't wait to be a mommy. that is all.

and by mommmy i mean mommy of a little girl, 'bout 4-5 pounds to be exact.


She'll help me with my work.



Explore Memphis with me.




Rest with me after my long days of studying.




Kick back and have a cold one...except, she'll stick to water.




She'll celebrate the seasons with me.




And one day we will add more to our family!



Why I have found the perfect breed for me (An excerpt from Pomeranian Central.com):

Pomeranians are like little fluff balls. They strut around like proud roosters because they know they are one of the cutest dogs around. They are classed as toy dog, and that’s the perfect name for them. They love attention and who wouldn’t want to play with anything this cute? Even macho men have been known to succumb to the charms of this tiny dynamo.

Your Pom will be your most loyal companion and he will prefer your company over anyone else’s. Poms see their job as making their humans happy. Your Pom will worship you and basically believe that you are the most wonderful and important soul in his life. This is a little dog that you can really bond with. You and your Pomeranian will love each other and have a lot of fun besides - They are known as “companion” dogs and you will never find a better one. If you already have at least one Pomeranian you’ll know what we’re talking about. If you don’t have a Pom, go right now and treat yourself to a life-changing experience! We think all dogs are great, but this breed is incredibly special. As one Pom’s owner said, “My Pom is so adorable that I just want to spend every second hugging him”.

Pomeranians have wonderful dispositions. Although they are usually frisky little extroverts, their overall demeanor is very loving. They love activity but aren’t demanding. They do well in apartment style living as long as you provide them with some toys and things to do. You couldn’t ask for a better companion in life. You can’t help but fall in love with this tiny character. He needs some pampering because of his thick coat but look at all you get in return for your efforts. Besides, you’ll love taking care of him because he’s so adorable. They are actually so much fun that you may want to consider having two of them.

When you bring a Pomeranian home, you are in for a joyous relationship. They are among the most loved of all the toy breeds. They are an ideal companion for people who don’t necessarily spend a lot of time outdoors. His cheerful spirit and natural intelligence make a most delightful animal. His most cherished treasure in life will be you, so be sure and lavish him with love.

today's melody :)

The first song, "Those Sweet Words" by Norah Jones.

as someone posted on a youtube video, "is so calming and peaceful that it brings tears to my eyes" (well, not mine personally, but the calming effect, most definitely).

Makes me think of my sweet darling, and how I end each day winding down speaking to him. :)

I've been listening to this one on repeat as I wind down from this Monday and get ready to dive into my work, taking deep breaths, closing my eyes, relaxed, peaceful.

What did you say
I know I saw you saying it
My ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
What did you say

And now the day
The hour hand has spun
Before the night is done
I just have to hear
Those sweet words
Spoken like a melody

All your love
Is a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
'Til it could fit on the head of a pin

Come on in
Did you have a hard time sleeping
'Cause a heavy moon was keeping you awake
And all I know is I'm just glad to see you again

See my love
Like a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
And then you appear

What did you say
I know I saw you saying it
My ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
And your simple melody

I just have to hear
Your sweet words
Spoken like a melody
I just wanna hear
Those sweet words

And this song, "If I could build my whole world around you" made me think of what I prayed for him this morning. I listened to this song on repeat when I was walking to and fro class on this wonderful sunny day :) And skipped about singing outloud whenever I could see that people weren't nearby... haha! It's upbeat and has a beach music sound to it.

"...I'd put so much love where there is sorrow; I'd put joy where there's never been love..."

If I could build my whole world around you, darlin'
First I'd put heaven by your side
Pretty flowers would grow wherever you walk, honey
And over your head would be the bluest sky
And I'd take every drop of rain
And wash all your troubles away
I'd have the whole world built around you
And that would be all right, oh yes it would

If I could build my whole world around you
I'd make your eyes the morning sun
I'd put so much love where there is sorrow
I'd put joy where there's never been love
And I'd give my love to you
To keep for the rest of your life
And happiness would surely be ours

participate relenlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings

I’m grumpy b/c I’m stressed b/c I don’t know how I’m going to pay for things or get all this work done.

I don’t like being so busy like this.

Some people wear busyness like a badge.
Some people are addicted to it.
Some people feel more important the more they have to do, the more they have demanding their attention, requiring them to be somewhere, do something.
Some people brag about all they have to do whether they realize it or not.

Perhaps I have just checked out of the Furman hotel already and I just want to hang out in the lobby or relax by the pool and I’m realizing I can’t do that quite yet.

In 2 hours I will have 23 days of class left, and only two full weeks of classes left. Not this week; I’m leaving on Thursday for my sister’s bachelorette party; not the week of Easter or the week after because I’m also leaving on Thursday that week for my sister’s wedding. Just next week and the week after the wedding I will attend all 5 days of classes in a week.

23 days of classes left; 5 weeks total. Mom asked me today if I’m ready to be done, and I said I’m mixed. Ready for classes to be done, oh ya, but not ready to leave the people or the place. Hard to enjoy it with many demands on my time.

That is why I am fighting for my happiness. Liz Gilbert (Eat Pray Love author) says as much:

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it.

Yesssss.

That is why I am going to see Legally Blonde: The Musical with my friends tomorrow, going to Luke’s senior recital (he has a hypnotic, enchanting opera voice), driving back a day early (skipping class on Friday) to spend time with my sister and not be rushed but instead able to relax on Friday before I play hostess to her friends.

I don’t have time this week to call the financial aid office at Memphis but maybe I will just have to study less and call them so I will be less stressed about it – or, ah ha! I could call them on Friday…that was my dad’s first question for me: “How are you going to pay for law school?” I don’t know yet, but I just have to trust that I will, these things will work themselves out, they always do.

I really want a dog, too, by the way. I have for four years now, so I know it isn’t just a whim. Same breed, same name. I found a good breeder in Tennessee that socializes their puppies, housetrains them and teaches them only to bark when strangers are at the door. I want a quiet, calm little girl. Colors can vary. I am stressed about having this conversation with my parents. 2 of my roommates are engaged; I don’t want a ring, I want a pup! SO bad.

I need to know when my mom is planning a trip this summer to tell my summer employer. Looks like we are beach bound! Seaside? Yes, please! Spring break was amazing and I am craving another adventure. It wet my appetite. New places, exploring. Getting lost in a beautiful city on a beautiful day with a beautiful man. Nothing beats it.

Summer couldn’t come soon enough! I am SO excited. Need to work on being present where I am instead of counting down; I know I won’t get this time back. The weekends are what get me through the week, through the stuff I have to do. I have many, many good weekends coming up, thankfully!

Man, I feel better already after sorting through this stuff. It’s not daunting, it’s definitely manageable, and it’s easier to see that when I take the time to sort through it…kind of like a messy room with piles. It’s all good stuff, it’s just in jumbles, not in its place.

Back to the quote of the day.

You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it.

May take extra effort & energy to maintain this happiness but it is definitely definitely DEFINITELY worth it! which may require coffee…mmmmmm

its nearly 5 a.m. and i'm wondering...

"There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? and Who's in charge? Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief and suffering."
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

Apparently I'm not the only one who has ever grappled with these questions.

One of these questions can be answered by...a certain person's willingness to talk with me, discuss with me, show me until I recognize the ways love can be manifested and expressed. Thank you Clint. I love you whole-heartedly.

grateful for spring!

Tomorrow is officially the *first day of spring*! Welcome, spring! I have missed thee & am very grateful for your return! :)

This week has flown by! I can't believe, but am so grateful, that tomorrow is Friday!

Today was a wonderful day. It was, in a word, swell. :)

Last night I went to bed early (Praise God!!) and felt refreshed when I woke up this morning. I still haven't pulled an all-nighter, or stayed up all night before for that matter. I like my 7-8 hours. Started the day by listing ways God was working in my life that I was grateful for, the roles He plays in my life, remembering who He is to me and what He's done for me. I would highly recommend this: to make a concerted effort to pursue gratitude and joy and the positives.

Not to mention, this weather improves my mood immensely. Sun. Warmth. I just breath easier and feel my heart more at ease just thinking about it. Another sunny day in Greenville was the case today much to my pleasure!

I bought new summer clothes yesterday to celebrate SPRING...and to celebrate getting into law school...and mother said she would buy me an Easter dress...and I was returning a dress to get a different one for my sister's bridesmaid brunch...so, when TJ Maxx gets a huge shipment of Lilly Pulitzer, it is a pretty great thing. Bright, colorful clothes at 75% off? I think yes.

I got a Lilly Easter dress, (yellow, white, and green with a little bit of hot pink), a fabulous strapless multicolor Lilly dress, a precious Lilly skirt with mermaids and fish on it, and a long sleeved bright pink cover-up that I am going to belt and wear as a dress. Bright, colorful new clothes make me happy and are quite celebratory and will last forever. I can't even list the amount of times I've worn my first Lilly dress (pictured below). Roommate Bridgette bought her first Lilly dress with me. It's precious.

Anyway, a whole long spiel about clothes because seeing the new clothes in my closest this morning reminded me how spring is here - if I didn't have to step or look outside to know - and it made me blissfully happy.

Work went very well and went by fast, had a great lunch, then was reading a JRR Tolkien piece about monsters and Beowulf and looked up and it was 1 p.m. My class starts at 1 p.m. Not to worry, I put on the March Madness Memphis basketball game and watched my tigers :) :) :) ... not do so hot. I was thinking, ut oh, there goes my bracket! I picked them to win the whole thing because that's my team! And I've never made a bracket before. So I picked Memphis to beat UT, my other team, in the final. Haha. Didn't pick based off records or what-have-you. Just who I like!

Tonight was initiation for the new Deltas! That is why I posted pictures from the last three years of Tridelt initiation. It's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun. We've got some beautiful, kind, remarkable new women in our sorority and I have full faith the chapter will stay strong! I don't think it has hit me quite yet that my Delta time is drawing to a close.

Afterward I got to talk to a friend. An answered prayer: the last few days she has had peace from someone who has been harassing her for months on end. The proper people have intervened to protect her, and I am so grateful for this. Praise God. Please continue to be with her, dear Lord, please be with this whole situation and those involved.

Right now I'm listening to the music from The Holiday soundtrack on repeat. The songs make me think of gumption, a quality the women in the movie possess, and after being down for a little while and struggling, realize their inner strength and self worth and learn to love again. It's a wonderful process. I received messages from a lifelong friend of mine that makes me think of these women, makes me think of gumption.

Part IV: Law school bound!

Part IV: Law School Bound!

I have decided.

Drum roll please…

I will be attending the UNIVERSITY OF MEMPHIS SCHOOL OF LAW this fall!!!

I am SO excited!!!

I sent out my seat deposit yesterday. Oh, it’s real. A little surreal. I will be paying for this, it is my deal. My parents have given me a great educational background – Brentwood Academy, Furman University – now it’s my turn. I am so grateful for my parents instilling in me a desire to learn and pursue knowledge and discover a career that would suit my gifts and interests. I enjoying writing and reading and have excelled in writing, and will surely read and write like I’ve never read or wrote before the next three years of my life!


I don’t know what kind of law I would want to practice or where this will take me. But I am confidently going through this door God has opened for me. Despite all my struggle with the LSAT, someone out there deemed me a solid candidate for their solid law program. They saw I was more than a score.

I feel a mix of peace, anxiety, and excitement, which I think is normal. Sure, there are many unknowns about the future may hold, but I have this overwhelming feeling that God is taking care of me.

“I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11.

"Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it," Isaiah 30:20-21

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well," Matthew 6:33.

He’s taking care of me, providing for me. I am trusting Him to lead me & learning to lean on Him because "the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold," Psalm 84:11. I am very grateful and humbled by this blessing, this open door, He has bestowed upon and provided for me.

I look forward on embarking on this new journey of my life with Him, wherever it may lead. He has taught me to dream big, that the possibilities of the future are vast and there is nothing hindering me from pursuing this dream. I believe in dreams.

For many months, almost a year now, I have dreamed of going to law school and those dreams have become my life. Memphis Law will be where life will take me for the next three years.

Why Memphis Law? It’s in state, it is affordable, it has a high bar passage rate and post-graduation employment rate, it’s got a great reputation, great faculty, and is 3 hours from home.

Here’s some info on the school that I found on PrincetonReview.com:

An affordable, practical-minded, and utterly personable law school program, the University of Memphis is the ideal training ground for future attorneys in the mid-South. Through course work and extracurricular activities, this friendly public school distinguishes itself through its “emphasis on training you to be a lawyer and not just a student of the law.” Throughout the curriculum, professors place a “strong emphasis on oral argument abilities,” and required course work includes instruction in many of the practical skills you’ll need in the real world. For example, “Course work required for the legal methods class is incredibly helpful in learning good writing, oral communication, and other lawyering skills.” Students further appreciate the inclusion of Tennessee law into the curriculum—a facet that is particularly useful to those planning to practice in the state.

Offering an intimate academic atmosphere at a friendly price, “U of M Law is one of the best values available.” Unlike programs at larger public schools, Memphis students don’t have to clamor for attention from their brilliant professors; with an enrollment of about 150 students per class, “The school is small enough that personal attention is readily available, and professors are always willing to talk.” With little exception, students say the school’s accomplished faculty is its greatest strength. A 1L agrees: “I have never before been taught by so many excellent professors at one time.” Outside the classroom, students can augment course work through participation in one of three legal clinics, the General Litigation Clinic, Elder Law Clinic, and the Child and Family Litigation Clinic, through which they can represent elderly and indigent clients in the Memphis area. For those who want practice in the courtroom, the school operates a competitive moot court program. In a very lawyerly fashion, a current student attests: “Our moot court people kick ass.”

If there is one thing University of Memphis students unanimously criticize, it’s the school’s ramshackle facilities. From the shabby library to the hot and under-equipped computer lab, students say the facilities certainly don’t reflect the quality of the U of M law experience. At times, the building even has adverse effects on academics. A case in point: “In some of the classrooms, the professors have to use microphones because you cannot hear anything but the air conditioner.” The good news for prospective students is that the school recently bought a historic building in downtown Memphis, which will serve as the law school’s new home in 2009. Optimistic students are sure that their educational experience will “dramatically improve once we move to the new building.” In fact, they reassure us, “Once the school moves downtown into the Customs House, this school is likely to become one of the premier public law schools in the South.”

The school’s excellent bar-passage rate is among its major selling points. At 95 percent for first-time test-takers, it’s “unusually high for a small state school.” Another appealing facet of a U of M degree is the school’s “very high job-placement rate” and its strong “ties with the Memphis community.” Deeply entwined in the local legal market, “For a person looking to practice in Memphis, or anywhere else in Tennessee, the school’s reputation is outstanding.” Of course, there are always a handful of students who are looking for jobs in other regions; given the school’s regional strength, its not surprising that these students complain Career Services isn’t “much help outside of the Memphis area.”

This urban law school attracts all types of students, the range of which includes “college athletes, war veterans, people in their second careers, mothers re-entering the workforce.” While they are all scrambling to score the best grades, there is surprisingly little friction between students at U of M. One student explains, “The environment, despite the building, is very positive and upbeat. You don’t get the feeling that the guy or girl next to you is looking to stab you in the back.” Because the school comprises “a much smaller community than most of us are used to after undergraduate at large schools” and the curriculum requires an incredible time commitment, Memphis students get to know each other well. A student elaborates: “We spend an unbelievable amount of time around each other, so it is to be expected that people will date, people will bicker, people will complain, and people will make up.”

University of Memphis is a commuter school, so most “Students attend class and then go their separate ways.” However, for those who’d like to participate in campus culture, there are plenty of opportunities and a “fairly small group who consistently attend the law school’s social functions.” A current student shares, “All in all, we have a lot of fun when we aren’t studying, and we are able to find a common bond with pretty much everyone with which we go to school.

On campus summer employment recruitment for first year JD students: Yes

On campus summer employment recruitment for second year JD students: Yes

# of Employers that Recruit on Campus Each Year: 45

Employers who most frequently hire graduates: Major area and regional law firms, Tennessee Attorney General, Public Defenders office, TN Supreme Court & Court of Appeals, major area corporate legal depts., City & County Government.

Pass Rate for First-Time Bar Exam: 94.1%

Average Starting Salary: $59,000.00

% of graduates who are employed within nine months of graduation: 95%

One of the only gripes was the facility, but the new facility is beautiful and in the heart of downtown.


My uncle just talked to me and congratulated me. He thinks it is a great decision.

This is an excerpt from the email he sent me before I decided. I will treasure this. I am so grateful for his advice and support.

Law school - or any doctoral program you may look at - is going to be bloody expensive regardless of what's going on in the economy, unfortunately. The weird part is that your counselor is correct: it IS literally an investment in your future. An investment is a good way to look at this... are you willing to take out the debt and invest it in education, making a bet that you will work incredibly hard, succeed in school and when you graduate, then pay off the "investment" with your brand new paycheck? It's no different than investing in a piece of land: the investment only makes sense if you have plans to do something great with it and believe it will appreciate into something more valuable than the initial investment. So, is a JD worth the price? That depends on you. It is depressing to start out in debt, but having a high price tag provides a "gut check": Is the _______ (insert dream here) a PASSION that you believe in, know that you can succeed in, and can't see doing anything else?

Your parents made an "investment" in your future with Brentwood Academy and your Furman degree... now it's time for you to "put some skin in the game!" :-) The difference between their investment and yours is that their "return on investment" isn't money, job, success, or power -- it's your happiness. Their investment has placed you in a GREAT position in life... now it's up to you from here. You've got the world at your fingertips! It's scary, but you'll figure it out. I have faith in you!

Now my prayers have been gratitude for this opportunity and that God would provide me a roommate and financial aid (scholarships or approval for loans) to fund this educational opportunity.

Part III: Rest in peace, sweet Will

Part III: Rest in peace, sweet Will

Early Sunday morning God called home one of his children, Will Warren.

Will is a cousin of Robin Warren, one of my best friends since preschool. Robin’s family is some of my family’s dearest friends.

Will hydroplaned early Sunday morning and wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and was thrown from the car. He was 22. It just doesn't seem real.

My heart breaks for Robin and the Warrens. I can empathize with them after loosing my own cousins Lindsay and Madison and Uncle Alan in car wrecks, and I hate what they have to go through. My grandmother said “this is like hell on earth” after we lost Lindsay, and according to Rob Bell, hell on earth is a complete lack of love and lack of the will of God. God did not will that these young people die. Jesus came that we would have life and have life to the full. But this world is broken, and we may not understand why they had to die, but we can trust that God is good and will bring good out of it because He says so, He promises this: “in all things God works for the good of those who love him,” Romans 8:28.

God did not will these people to die, but He can use it to His glory. And He does know the date each one of us will leave the earth. He knows all things.

And, Jesus says, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand” in John 13:7.

In Heaven we’ll know, we’ll see how God was able to use this, to perhaps reach the lost or wake people out of complacency so they live better lives or learn to love others better. We do not know now, but we can know God was good.

I went to visit Robin in Seattle before 5th grade when her dad Kenny was being treated for cancer out there, and at her dad’s visitation I played with her in the bathroom. I remember hearing that he wasn’t going to make it and just bawling in the shower. That’s the first memory I have of the heartbreaking pain of a death of a loved one, my first memory and experience of the frailty of life and its transient, precious, delicate nature. I wished I could have been there with her last night and today for the funeral. Being the same age as Will, they were so close. She was on a mission trip when it happened and I am so thankful she was able to come back and be with her family. Being with family is what gets you through, seeing your loved ones, experiencing the love, just holding each other.

Will was a lovable rascal. Blonde hair and a twinkle in his eyes. His cousin Dana described him as a cousin who “filled our lives with insurmountable joy and life force, and you loved without hesitation or judgment” which, though I didn’t know him well these past few years, I believe does great justice to him.

Will was my first boyfriend.

Yeah, in 6th grade. He stole my mittens and stuffed them in the bottom of the coke machine where you pull out your drinks. I think we were only boyfriend/.girlfriend for a month or two, but he was always just such a nice, kind person. Last time I saw him was at Dana’s wedding two summers ago with his date Dana, my old neighbor. Dana’s facebook status after it happened was “Dana is wondering why life is so unfair – missing Will.”
I pray that God will be a comfort to those grieving the loss of their beloved friend, cousin, brother, son, grandson, nephew.

Almighty God, in whose hands our transient lives are held – was the beginning of a prayer during this past Advent season. In whose hands our transient lives are held. I love that image. Our lives are brief, just glimpses of what await us in eternity, but they are under the watchful, loving, protective care of a very Awesome very Loving God.

This is the song I listened to yesterday and sent to Robin, filling in the names of our loved ones:

Brad Paisley - When I get where I'm going
When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

(Chorus:)
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with [Cousin Lindsey, Uncle Alan,Cousin Madison, Kenny Warren & Will Warren],
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.

(Chorus)

So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.

But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace. Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!
I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.

When I get where I’m going and I see my Maker’s face, I’ll stand forever in the light of his amazing grace! Praise God!

Part II: Spring Break

Part II: Spring Break

Senior year spring break has come and gone. I feel it is appropriate to put on the mix I made for spring break in order – the first 35 songs at least (there was close to 80 so I can’t list all of them). These just happen to be some of my absolute favorite songs that relax me and shed happiness and peace into my life.

1. Bennie and the Jets
2. Holiday in Spain
3. Heads Carolina, Tails California
4. 2 Pina Coladas
5. When the sun goes down
6. No shoes, no shirt, no problem
7. Flake
8. Bubble toes
9. Banana Pancakes
10. Octopus’s Garden
11. She’s in my head
12. Sweet as nectar
13. Island in the Sun
14. Perfect Day
15. Something more
16. Dancing in the moonlight
17. We danced anyway
18. Fly me to the moon
19. Just cause we can
20. Kiss me
21. If I had words
22. Let it be
23. Rockabye
24. Turn it upside down
25. Wild nights
26. Hurt so good
27. Umbrella
28. Here (In your arms)
29. Every time we touch
30. I want you
31. Mo money mo problems
32. Please don’t stop the music
33. Livin la vida loca
34. Whenever, wherever
35. Hey ya

Ah, yes, the mix for trying to and from Charleston! But I’ll get there…

So Friday after class I come back to my apt to Mandy, my roommate of two years, and David, her beau of two years, making lunch in the kitchen. David had come in town to surprise Mandy and had taken her to Pretty Place, a beautiful outdoor chapel I have yet to visit and proposed that very morning!!! They are going to the chapel & are going to get married May 22, 2010! A hundred congratulations to the happy, wonderful couple! Eeek! Mandy told the story and I hugged them and cried then had to go to work. That evening they went out to dinner but we had champagne together, just the three of us, after dinner. Omg, they are glowing and are so cute. It is so precious. I love it. SO happy! I was friends with Mandy before I really knew David and I love how happy he makes her, how good he is to her, how they compliment each other and love each other so well. David is a great man, very kind and loving and responsible and my sweet roommate has a wonderful catch of a fiancé! Yesssssssssss.

Saturday I patiently waited for Clint to arrive. Yeah. Right.

Me? I’m not the most patient person in the world. I couldn’t wait to see him! Baaaaah.

It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, a sure harbinger of spring, and I laid out, painted my nails, went for a run (4+ miles), had lunch with my sister and showed her around my apt which was wonderful to see her and spend time with her.

Clint was outside eating his McDonalds (he loves McDonalds haha) so I joined him for a snack. We got some groceries for the trip; namely, Captain Morgan & the TGI Fridays pina colada mix & Leese Fitch charonnay & Andre. Then we went to dinner at Monterrays, a Furman favorite, for a feast of a mushroom quesadilla and a margarita – yummmmm. We then went downtown trying to find my sister and her friends (they were taking the bachelorette out on the town after a naughty all girls party) with no avail.

After sleeping in ‘cuz – that’s what you do on spring break, clearly – we made our way to CHARLESTON! We went straight to the beach and walked around. It was kind of chilly, but it sure felt good to be in a sundress and my big hat and Clint had on shorts, so warm weather attire!

We toasted to our trip with pina coladas and went to Coconut Joe’s. A handful of restaurants were within walking distance of our hotel (our hotel that was right on the beach, so wonderful!) and we got to try a new one each night. We got lots of wings and some coconut shrimp and chicken fingers…again, yummmmmmmm. Good eatin’! Our travel day made for an early night.

The next day was our day in the city. We slept in, had breakfast in the lobby, got some maps and plotted our course. I wore my new Lilly Pulitzer shorts I got from TJ Maxx and my favorite shirt ever and was ready for a warm day in one of my favorite cities!

We went to lunch at Tommy Condon’s, an Irish pub that was all ready for St. Patty’s day. I had shrimp and grits and Clint, my picky eater, tried it! We then walked about the city, taking pictures and shopping. Clint humored me as I found a new shirt and the most wonderful dress EVER. It’s pink and ethereal. It’s like something out of a dream. I love the sleeves and the length. It’s very girly, very pretty. I am wearing it to my senior Tridelt formal and either my sister’s bridesmaids brunch or rehearsal dinner. I love it! And it was a very reasonable price for such a dress. I live in dresses anyway. What a great addition to my wardrobe.

It was so wonderful being in Charleston with Clint on such a lovely day, if for no other reason that it is wonderful just being with him, being together, but it was even more special seeing one of my favorite places through his eyes since the sights were all new to him. The Battery, the old houses, Rainbow Row, the old churches and graveyards and cobblestone streets. “It’s a whole world that wants to be graceful and beautiful” is a quote from Gone With the Wind that makes me think of Charleston, beautiful Charleston!

We walked through the graveyards and made some videos like the World’s Scariest Places show, telling ghost stories and acting like ghost hunters. He is making a DVD of our trip pictures and video footage; I can’t wait to see it! The videos were pretty ridiculous. We’re so weird; I love it.

The Battery was lovely as always. I love the history. Houses from the 17th century. Man o man.

That night we made some drinks and went out for shrimp quesadillas at Banana Cabana. Never had them before, but they were very tasty! The seafood was so fresh and delicious. We definitely ate well the whole vacation.

The next day was beach day! Cloudy at first, but the sun came out enough for us to get pretty toasted. Clint was very burnt. Beautiful beach. Peaceful. A little kid kept feeding the seagulls and would get chased by them; it was funny. We dipped our toes in the water and spelled “I love you” with shells and collected shells. I have since put the shells, some sand, and ocean water in a mason jar. It is sitting by my bed and I’ll turn the sand over and watch it fall over the shells. I LOVE the beach. I am perfectly content sitting in the sand, watching the ocean, reading, sleeping, people watching, day dreaming, fully present with a heart full and happy. We went exploring and found a good spot for lunch and I enjoyed a delicious Mahi Mahi burrito. So fresh, so yummy.

That afternoon we went on a walk instead of a run. A very long walk. 5 miles of walking. I thought it would be a marvelous idea to walk across the connector bridge but it was quite a distance. Not my best idea ever, but it was fun. Well, 5 miles is not too shabby of a workout; it was good to stretch our legs.

That night we went to WindJammer for dinner and got fish & chips and awaited our food at the bar…but a townie started talking to us, bought us a drink, then told us his life story about all the concerts he had gone to. Clint loves music but was overwhelmed by the stories; this guy was intense about his rock n roll! What we had hoped would be our last dinner was interrupted but it made for some good laughs when we found a way to slip out of there.

We went back to downtown Charleston and went to the aquarium and saw alligators, otters, seahorses, crabs, fish (duh, but they were very pretty, some odd shaped, some big eyed, some long nosed), sharks, sea turtles. Then we went to Majestic Grill for lunch. They’ve named the menu items after famous movies; I had “My Fair Lady,” a sandwich of sautéed veggies and cheese. We then shared a Smores cupcake from the famous cupcake place and were on our merry way!

Back in Greenville we decided to make it a pasta and beer night. Clint made some very good mushrooms to add to our sauce and we had some pasta and Irish beer and he tried Framboise, a beer with raspberries fermenting in it that Bridgette discovered that is now sold at Publix (could be dangerous hmmm). A delicious, filling meal indeed!

Next day we were up early and on the road by 10:30 because bad weather was coming. After half a week of sun, cloud coverage and chilly temperatures came in and did not leave for the rest of the week. Don’t think I saw the sun in Nashville once – only clouds and cold!

Thursday I hung out with my mom when I first got back then went to Chilis with my family minus Nat and got the Quesadilla Explosion salad and watched Survivor with my family.

Friday there was still gross weather so I did an elliptical workout and dropped by Clint’s house for a little while. Watched basketball with the parents and Clint and had takeout from a Greek restaurant. Clint hung out with me for a bit but went to see his friends.

Saturday was fun! Clint, my brother Nate, and I went to Genghis Grill, where you make your own stir fry for dinner, then to Sonic for some ice cream, and then watched A Knight’s Tale, which I had never seen before. Hm I’ve talked about food a lot this post. I really enjoyed eating this break apparently haha.

Sunday, church was great, the sermon and service was good and it was good to see friends after. The drive back went by fast and I bought Mandy some flowers and went to chapter. She had her candelight at chapter, which is where she announces her engagement after keeping it a secret and tells the engagement story. Then I came back to the apt and just chilled out! And that was my spring break!