lucky charms

Ok. Got enough coffee and chocolate in the system to go for a while. It's 3:45, I'm back in the apt, and have enough work to keep me here for the entire night. There's nowhere I need to be tonight, no meetings, no job - just work. This morning I felt a big weight on my heart, feeling I would never find the time able to do all I need to do, feeling I had not the energy nor inclination. Chocolate (york peppermint patties), coffee (marshmallow mocha), a talk with my momma, & bumping into my friend from freshman year Cara all combined to make me feel calmer, ready to tackle my projects for the night...oh yeah, and I only have homework in one of my two classes tomorrow because we had a test last class and didn't finish the briefs assigned last Tuesday, that also helped restore more confidence that I could get it all done.

What Cara and I talked about really rings true for days like today. We talked about in the Lord's Prayer - give us this day our daily bread. And, in Matthew 6:34, "don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Questions of what do I need to do today, what do I need to make it through this day. There's only so much I can do today, only so much time in a day.

I balance four classes, LSAT prep which is a class in itself, a job in the media relations office, a sorority, a copy editing position for the school newspaper. And I have friends, a fella, and I like to run and walk and read my Bible and blog too. If I didn't have all this work to do I could think of many things I'd like to do to fill my time (I was thinking earlier, well, if I didn't have work what would I be doing anyway? as if there wouldn't be anything else to do so I might as well do work...but that train of thought didn't take me very far). Which makes me think of what my sister once told me.

She's a psych major and said there's some theory where 20% of our life is the really good stuff, the really enriching incredible experiences, and the other 80% is the stuff you just have to do. But that's where people get all depressed and jaded and disappointed with their lives because they think it should be all butterflies and sunshine all day everyday and that's just not reality. Which makes me think of Lucky Charms, the cereal. You cannot have a cereal made of all marshmallows - you just can't. The sweetness & color & fun (the marshmallows) are instead mixed in with those boring brown pieces that must have some bit of nutritional value. I guess that's a bit like life. Life is like a bowl of lucky charms. And right now I am going to have a few days of boring brown pieces so hopefully my weekend will be a marshmallow-ish weekend when my visitor comes. And even on the boring-brown-pieces type of days (like today) there are still handfuls of marshmallows throughout (there's still that 20% of sweetness...it's not 100% boring and brown...). Sweeeeet (uh, no pun intended).

One of those marshmallow pieces was talking to my mom. Hadn't talked to her in a while. How are parents so good at encouragement when their baby ducks need it most? I explained to her how things are going, how I've been studying for the LSAT and am preparing to contact the people I am asking to write my recs. She had a way of assuring me that she believes I am prepared, motivated, purposeful, and law school is something within my reach. I can do it! Definitely a marshmallow moment.