love and acceptance in spite of my ugliness

Yesterday I heard a song that made me think of the last sermon I heard at my home church before returning to Furman. Bethany Dillon sings, “I used to think you couldn’t love a mess like me then you came in so close…but you change me, you change me…and though I feel so stuck the hope in Your eyes is enough.”

This kind of love, the kind of love that God offers to us, is what the sermon explores.

God’s love is extended to us, given to us and for us – a love that is never deserved and never ending. God's grace is so amazing because grace is undeserved – it’s given. And God doesn’t wait for us to get our stuff together. God just loves – even when we’re not ready for it, God just loves, even in the midst of our ugliness.

Dave Roever, an evangelist, was in Vietnam when a grenade blew up a few feet from him causing burns all over his body. When his wife went to visit him in the hospital, she had to check the patient folder by his bed because he was unrecognizable. When she confirmed it was her husband, she bent down and kissed his disfigured face and said these words: “Welcome home Davy. I love you.”
He looked up into her eyes and said, “sweetheart I’m so sorry.”
And she said, “sorry? For what?”
“I’m just sorry I will never ever again be able to look good for you.”
And she said, “oh Davy how silly. You never were good looking anyway.”

This elicited laughs from the congregation but I found the truth of her words moving in how they reflect God’s heart towards us.

Dave said later on that “hearing those words of love and of acceptance in spite of my ugliness was the beginning of my spiritual healing which allowed me to face life once again.”

When the preacher said this it gave me chills. I was reminded of God's love that runs deep, deeper than any of my wounds, that He has extended to me no matter how unlovable I feel, directly or through the amazing people He has put in my life as vessels of His love. I have been blessed to have people in my life who are arrows pointing to Heaven, pointing back to God's goodness and how God offers undeserved but amazing, healing inducing, liberating sort of love.

There were times this spring and summer where I was often quite unlovable & just downright selfish and my rotten behavior called for the people in my life to dig deep in order to overlook those flaws, in order to continue a relationship with me, but they did. They didn't just throw in the towel or walk away when they could've and leave me in the messes I was making. They loved me in spite of myself, and in doing so, pointed me to God, because that's how He loves us. And in doing so, they added to my spiritual healing which enabled me to face life once again...

The preacher went on to ask: Have you ever had anyone love you in spite of your ugliness, accept you when you felt you were unacceptable, offer you forgiveness when you felt like something you had done was unforgivable? Has someone said the words, ‘I love you’ when you could not love yourself? Have you ever felt someone love you in spite of your ugliness?

Because that is EXACTLY how God loves us. And sometimes His people are able to be vessels of this love.

In the way that we are loved, love given to us before we deserve it and get our act together, and in spite of our ugliness, we are called to love those around us. So no matter how useless we may feel at times, like we have nothing to offer the world, what we can offer those around us is that same love we have received and when we do it makes a difference.

“This is the amazing story of God’s grace. God saves us by His grace and transforms us more and more into the likeness of His Son by His grace. In all our trials and afflictions, He sustains and strengthens us by His grace. He calls us by grace to perform our own unique function within the Body of Christ. Then, again by grace, He gives to each of us the spiritual gifts necessary to fulfill our calling. As we serve Him He makes that service acceptable to Himself by grace and then rewards us a hundredfold by grace.”

So we love with the same kind of grace that was offered to us.

My pockets are empty
Fear's such a thief
You know how that goes
I used to think
You couldn't love a mess like me
Then You came in so close

As my heart settles
You do the impossible

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Like a bullet in a wound
It needs to be removed
But only by You, only by You
And though I feel so stuck
The hope in Your eyes is enough

To change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Now that I see Your face
I'll never be the same

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me