This much I know is true

After almost 4 weeks I’m back in Greenville. Furman land. Sarah’s at an apt so I have an hour of quiet time and many things to ponder.

Roommate Bridgette and I went straight to Camp Spearhead, a camp for people with special needs, where she worked last summer. She surprised her boyfriend Corey (whom she met at camp last year and works there again this summer) who didn’t think she was coming til tomorrow. Sneaky, sneaky.

As soon as we pulled up and jumped out of the car I heard the familiar greeting “Ren-fro!” that I’d know anywhere. My friend Reily works at camp, and I got a chance to talk to him. I was very eager to see him because I have missed him terribly – there’s really no other word to describe it. One of the toughest parts of breaking up with Reily’s roommate was I didn’t get to see Reily (I went on spring break to visit Reily’s sister in Miami, hung out at their apt, went to Asheville with them, Carolina Cup…). At Furman there are plenty of fake friendships, but I was convinced Reily wasn’t a fake friend – and he’s not – but was naturally put in a tough place and had to be there for his roommate and I understand that. But I still missed him throughout the process. I am so thankful I still have his friendship. Talking with him even further reaffirmed my decision and I could see, once again, how God rewards obedience.

This much I know is true – God rewards obedience. I was in a relationship that was fine, but it wasn’t great, and instead of staying in it just to be in a relationship, just to have someone, God urged me to TRUST HIM in laying down the good to receive His best, trust Him that He knows what I need more than I do, and that He does and will provide. It was a leap of faith – not knowing what in the world He has in store (“the pathway’s broken and the signs are unclear, and I don’t know the reason why you brought me here, but just because you love me the way that you do, I’ll walk through the valleys if you want me to”), but I CAN TRUST because God knows my needs and desires better than I know myself. He gave me the strength to lay down that relationship, submit my will to His, and come to Him with open hands and an open heart. My friend Pip, who got married last Nov., encouraged me to write a list of everything I’m looking for in a man – because I know what works & what doesn’t, what I need & definitely don’t – and she encouraged me not to compromise on that list. I did this, and I found that God is completely capable of meeting every single one of those qualities (for some reason I doubted this, I mean, even though He can create the world, I figured He probably couldn’t create a person that would embody qualities that fit me). But He showed me He is able. So I don’t want to settle for anything less than God’s best, and often God’s best is offered to us only if we’ll empty our hands of lesser things – but if we do, He rewards obedience, and can often not entrust us with greater blessing unless we are faithful in the small things. My last relationship wasn’t bad, but I felt a nagging in my heart that there could be better. And yes, it was quite hard to let go, but I have been encouraged this summer that there IS someone out there who’s above and beyond what I could have ever imagined, and I know with all my heart, without a shadow of a doubt, that person is worth the wait, worth the sacrifice. Lesson of my life, once again I can thank God for closing doors because He doesn’t give His children second best (and in this instance, I’m not bumping into that door over and over wanting it to open). Jesus’ words “you do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand” (John 13:7) encouraged me through this because I didn’t understand at the time the reasons why I couldn’t just stay where I was comfortable. I see clearly now why – and though I still have so many unanswered questions, that’s ok. I have a peace. I’m where I’m supposed to be.