journaling

Journaling is what I do. Since I could write I’ve kept a journal. One of my first entries – 90% words spelled wrong, not surprising b/c I still can’t spell – records how my mom wouldn’t let me stop at “Candy Candy” at the mall and I was channeling my frustrations (haha – and no, I wasn’t a fat kid). Then, my journals were filled with my stories, mostly about talking animals but soon involved Titanic-related themes and even the Doom computer game. They are filled with prayer & joy & confusion. I can see where I’ve been at any one moment in my past – see the patterns I tend to repeat, the circles I run in, but also the progress. Journaling is an incredible outlet & I resort to it as much as possible. In my apt at college, we refer to it as “prayer and process time,” and it often gets precedence over studying for the sake of our souls.

Blogging is my new favorite way of journaling because the words come out faster and I can share them. Little by little the filter is coming off and I am more comfortable sharing – but as a whole, blogging is helpful because it keeps me from having a pity party knowing someone might read it.

I’ve been reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and this is what she recommends to do when journaling (which I found today and LOVE, so I may randomly post “I am happy because…” or “I want…”):

Wake up, with a journal, and ask "what do you really, really, really want?" You have to say, really, really, really three times or else you don't believe it. And answer it truthfully and do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next.

That's enough. It will come. It might be today, it might be the long term, but you start there. Because you can't set your journey if you don't know what you're for.

At the end of every day, write down the happiest moment of every day. It's my happiness journal. And it's a way of reminding myself what really makes me happy, and what doesn't. And you know, every day also has its crappiest moment of the day, but I decided not to keep a crappiest moment of the day journal. And learn, and study, and look back and see what is it consistently.