myers-briggs = self understanding

“Whatever the circumstances of your life, the understanding of type can make your perceptions clearer, your judgments sounder, and your life closer to your heart’s desire” – Isabel Briggs Myers

I’m a firm believer in the accuracy of the Myers-Briggs personality test. Often I readily blame (half joking, half not) what I do based on my type (“I do x, y, & z b/c I’m an ESFJ. Duh”). But it really is great at explaining innate tendencies and preferences, so I think it’s an invaluable self-assessment tool to explain how a person works, and once someone knows how they work they can more easily determine what works for them and what doesn’t.

No round pegs in square holes.

I know what kind of “peg” I am – an ESFJ, the good, the bad, & the quirky. Since I know what kind of peg I am, it’s the first step to see what fits and what does not, personal strengths to celebrate, and personal weaknesses to acknowledge and improve.


Portrait of an ESFJ
(Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing)

As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done.

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.


ESFJ Strengths
• Put forth a lot of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations

• Warm, friendly and affirming by nature

• Service-oriented, they want to please others

• Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

• Responsible and practical, they can be counted to take care of day-to-day necessities

• Generally upbeat and popular, people are drawn towards them

• Generally very good money managers

• Traditionally minded and family-oriented, they will make family celebrations and traditions special events


ESFJ Weaknesses
• Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories

• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism

• Need a lot of positive affirmation to feel good about themselves

• May be overly status-conscious, and interested in how others see them

• Have very difficult time accepting the end of a relationship, and are likely to take the blame for the failure onto their own shoulders

• Have difficulty accepting negative things about people close to them

• Don't pay enough attention to their own needs, and may be self-sacrificing

• May tend to use guilt manipulation as a way to get what they want