valentines weekend, young at heart

Mmmm. Just had my second - and probably not the last - bite of Valentine's Day chocolate, a Snickers in the shape of hearts. Now I'm perched on my bed, my bag's still not unpacked and my homework is still not done, but my new Frank Sinatra cd is playing, my roommates are carrying on in the next room, and I am happy and content after a thrilling, relaxing, romantic weekend at home.

Where to begin?

I'll begin on Thursday, post-pedicure. I bought Clint two cds which I have already mentioned, but I did not say which ones. Frank Sinatra, "Seduction: Sinatra Sings of Love," a new compilation just released in 2009 with a lovely red cover and an insert about Frank's art of seduction via his unmatched crooning abilities. The other one was Frank Sinatra at the Movies. I also gave Clint a cd from an Irish band that was playing at a bar in Charleston when the girls and I went a few weekends ago. So, a cd for his heart, hobbies, and heritage. It is worth mentioning that he gave me with a Frank Sinatra cd as a surprise; Classic Sinatra, his great performances 1953-1960. Haha, great minds think alike!

The two Frank Sinatra cds got me all the way to Knoxville during my drive, and the new Fray cd and live John Mayer cd Caroline let me borrow got me the rest of the way to Murfreesboro.

Frank is wonderful; his voice, the lyrics, the accompanying music. Why haven't I discovered him sooner and become familiar with his style & words & ways until now?? I love the lyrics because they are romantic, yes, but they're good, they're quality. Music like this just isn't made anymore. It reminds me of The Beatles, songs like "I want to hold your hand" that are so sweet and innocent but not childish; songs that make you want to dance & twirl & kiss & drink champagne and, at the very least, tap your feet. Frank's songs are gay, before the word became connected with a sexual preference or derogatory comment, and light, yet cut right to the heart - cut right to the heart and melt it. My status? Most definitely melted. It's like he says, "Oh, you're falling in love? Here, let me help. I'll put it into words and sing about it."

The new Fray cd is good; it reminds me a lot of sophomore year of college when I listened to the Fray a lot. And John Mayer has always been a favorite of mine. His version of Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" is incredible. I think it's even better than the original. And that's a big claim coming from me. I'm a big Tom Petty fan. I've seen him live. I've danced and sang to Free Fallin' LIVE. But listening to John Mayer's version is an out of body experience for me - it makes me feel, as described in Perks of Being a Wallflower, infinite. *

*Here's the scene from Perks of Being a Wallflower I'm referring to*
When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes yu wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And In that moment I swear we were infinite. After the song finished I said something. “I feel infinite.” And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I had said the greatest thing they had ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way.

Ah yes, that book is one of my all time favorites. It has some of the best quotes ever.

And I'm free. Freeeeeee. Free fallin'.

I like the beginning because I feel he describes me very well - a good girl ('good' is relative, but I'd say I qualify), loves her momma (most definitely), loves Jesus (YES), and America too (here, here!); crazy about Elvis (sure), loves horses (yes, especially when I was a lil girl), and her boyfriend too (yes, I do).

But how fun is it to sing, 'I'm free' and really feel, well, free?

There I was driving, about to get a new change of scenery, new faces, a dose of family time. Free from obligations, work, but bigger than physical things, I felt free from pressures and stress that had been wearing me down. It was a break from all that. I was free from all that, and I could really feel that freedom. I could really feel light from releasing the burdens, from leaving them behind and not taking them with me, not carrying them anymore. One of my favorite verses is "I run in the path of your commands because you have set my heart free." And I'm freeeee.

My friend Carter told me in class before I left for the weekend, "Life's too short to try to please everyone. Do what makes you happy." That really resonated with me. Because he didn't mean do whatever you want, abuse that freedom, but not to let what people think hold me back from, not to give them that power over my happiness, my heart. He asked me if I was in love, and it was nice being able to say that I was; it came out as naturally as breathing. To deny being in love would be to deny my lungs a breath. That's how it felt. That's how I feel.

I arrived earlier than planned. Clint made us dinner - chicken and mushrooms (my favorite!) on pasta which paired nicely with Riesling and Strawberry Andre (I've almost finished the five bottles I bought for Allison's party that we never used, almost!). We then watched Casablanca, and I love it. What a movie! It made me think of my dear friends John and CB who are in Singapore. Their first dance as a married couple was "As Time Goes By" from the movie, and they dressed up as Ilsa and Rick for a Tridelt function. I miss them very much.

Saturday Clint was a dear and humored me while I shopped for party supplies for my sister's bachelorette party. We got some ice cream (I opted for a vanilla milkshake) from Steak N Shake and it made me think of senior year of high school when I went there with friends a lot. I can eat ice cream faster than just about anyone I know.

Then, what a night! We went to a bar the Hugenut(?) Pig in Franklin with Clint's mom, her husband, and her five siblings and their spouses and Clint's grandfather and cousin and his serious girlfriend. Clint's grandfather is a jewel of a man, with a twinkle in his eye and an unmatched kindness and sweetness about him, and he was out there on the dance floor, letting loose with his kids! I can see Clint being like him when he's older which makes me happy. Instead of being a grumpy old man, he'll be like the saying, 'the older the violin, the sweeter the music.' His grandfather is young at heart, that's for sure, just one of his many admirable traits. One of the Frank songs that makes me think of Clint the most is 'You Make Me Feel So Young.' They say, 'youth is often wasted on the young,' but in our case, I would like to argue that just simply isn't so.

Fairy tales can come true
it can happen to you
if you're young at heart
(Frank Sinatra)

Clint's family is warm & loving & definitely have a gift for hospitality. I definitely felt at home & comfortable. I had a ball dancing with them and with Clint! It was so nice to see his cousin Luke and his girlfriend Bonnie as well. Bonnie had on a pink dress and I had on my red dress; I wasn't sure if I would be too dressed up, but I wanted to wear my dress and I'm so glad I did. Great band. Great fun.

Best Valentine's Day ever. Why? The company.

For one, I am so in love. Clint is so good to me. Our relationship grows stronger each day, and it is really humbling to watch that process, to be so close to someone who inspires me to be a better person every single day, someone who helps me be who I want to be and loves me how I need to be loved, who lets me love him, lets me be with him, in my better moments and worse moments. All at once I am tickled and giddy with joy and very very calm and assured and peaceful. And see, I couldn't have it all the way. I need a love that will challenge me & excite me & reassure me & I got it, I have it, an intense love, a passionate love, a tender love.

It had to be you
It had to be you
I wandered around
and finally found
somebody who
made me be true

...For nobody else gave me a thrill
with all your faults I love you still
It had to be you
Wonderful you
It had to be you
(It had to be you, Frank Sinatra, playing on my itunes now, conveniently...)

It was the best Valentine's Day because it was a mix of my favorite things - my favorite person, favorite activity (dancing in a twirly dress), favorite dessert, family, bright sunshine-y day, some shopping, taking it easy, relaxing & resting,
romance & love & an overall peaceful exuberance. I try to make most days like Valentine's Day, and by that I mean I try to add love, pink, and chocolate to every day, as cheesy as that sounds, so the actual Valentine's Day feels like my favorite things magnified.

I got to 'take the whirlwind that life has been and trade it for the freedom of blue skies and amber sunshine as far as I can see' during my drive to and fro. Today's drive was excellent and went by very fast.

Tomorrow I am buying tickets for my friends and I to have the ultimate girls' night out -- to go see Legally Blonde: The Musical. I showed Clint clips of it on youtube and he said he was so glad I have girlfriends to go see it with me. I AM SO EXCITED! I think I may buy the soundtrack once I get the tickets so I can listen to it and get pumped. Coming off a great weekend, I am recharged to greet this new week. And ready to get to bed after the longest blog post ever! Haha!

How little it matters
How little we know
(Frank)