a STELLAR weekend

There is fresh fallen snow on the ground and a hint of warm gingerbread in the air (courtesy of my candle).

It is Sunday morning and all is calm and quiet - well, except for my music, the playlist from my birthday turned on low. Realizing I didn't have a mix titled "calm" - there is one of classical music and one I called "chill" - the birthday mix will appropriately suit my mood of calmness and reflectivity. 100 Years (Five for Fighting), Cinderella (Stephen Curtis Chapman), Fly Me to the Moon (Frank Sinatra) begin this musical treat.

This weekend I found a new favorite restaurant in downtown Greenville. I ventured through its doors Friday night and liked it so much I was back again Saturday night. Yeah, it's that good.

It's called Stellar.

Stellar's magic can be attributed to the company I was in, the meal that was shared, and the environment itself.

Stellar has twinkling lights like stars and constellation paintings above, soft candle lighting, and a fire place. Stellar is a wine bar, and the selection is plentiful and they are very knowledgeable of their wine and generous with their wine samples.

The first night I went with one of my best friends, Caroline. We left Furman at 6:30 and didn't return until 9:30. We had much catching up to do after a long break apart. We sampled some wine (she just recently turned 21) and shared Gorgonzola cheese fondue that came with vegetables, fruit, and bread - we asked for seconds of the red pepper bread in order to get every last morsel of the cheese because it was incredible. I tried their best Chardonnay - usually my favorite wine - but, my sweet tooth sought something, well, sweeter, so I tried a Riesling too - and loved it! This is the night I discovered Riesling. I felt very clever for my discovery - both the wine and the fine restaurant. We were pleasantly full and satisfied.

The second night I returned with Ally, a recent Furman graduate, and my fellow Tridelts Allison (my little), Chelsea (her roommate), Lauren, and Lily. I sampled Riesling again and confirmed my fondness for it. We shared three pots of cheddar fondue and went to Coffee Underground, a Furman student favorite and coffee house unique to Greenville, to have some sweets and coffee. I am not a picky eater, but one thing I do not like is hot/warm milk, so that rules out a lot of hot coffee drinks for me, but I did get a piece of pie at Chelsea's suggestion that had warm chocolate and pecans. They put ice cream on top without me asking - a nice freebie.

Ally and I had gone out for coffee before this date. I don't know when or with whom the practice of conversing over warm beverages in a comfortable setting began, but it is one I enjoy immensely. I know England has always made time for tea, but I wonder when that time evolved into open hearts sharing thoughts, dreams, and fears.

Ally and I are similar in the lens we see and approach life, love, and God. The God we know is the one who, as Bethany Dillon sings, "sits at the table with the wounded and the poor, [He] laugh[s] and tell[s] stories with the thief and the whore, when [He] could just be silent and leave us here to die. Still, [He] sent [His] son for us. [He is] on our side." Ally is in her first year of law school; I am hoping to be next year. We both want to be educated in law to pursue a cause in public interest, not to make bank. We both are strong willed women who have loved similar men.

And here shifts my reflection a bit. The man I love is a gentle soul, a patient person, with a kind heart. These qualities do not come naturally to me, so I get frustrated with him. But, as I have learned through Celebration of Discipline, I do not get angry with him because he is weak or passive, but I get angry because I have anger and impatience in my heart and I need to be aware of those things so I can address them. His strengths work very well with my strengths and what I need. I have never been good and receiving constructive criticism, so I need a gentle person to gently convey these things to me, and he does, he is. I am blissfully happy being in a relationship with him, but I know it won't always be sunshine and roses. I talked with my mom over break about a line from The Prince of Tides, where, after an exhilarating affair, Barbara Striesand's character asks her lover if he loves his wife more than her and he says no, just longer. My mom says there is so much truth in this, because in marriage, you build your relationship through working through the seasons where you may not feel in love, where you may be frustrated more times than not, but in choosing to work through those seasons, you will once again see the seasons where you are content, and will be stronger having faced the issues and having chosen to work at overcoming them. Clint and I confronted the biggest issue yet in our relationship, and though it was very difficult at the time, it was nice to see how we work together when we aren't just tickled with joy by the other one but upset and frustrated; it was nice to see that we can work through small issues, because if we are to stay together, much much bigger issues will come our way, and overcoming smaller issues will equip us when those more difficult arise.

My roommate heard a sermon recently about the fall, where Eve's big sin was asserting her independence (which goes against the natural order, where Paul instructs us, is when woman submits to her husband as the church is supposed to submit to Christ - but this order exists not for abuse, but because the head of woman and the church is intended to love selflessly and sacrificially and protect those entrusted in his care) and Adam's was being passive. The more Eve asserted independence, the more passive Adam was; the more passive was, the more Ever asserted her independence. Who knows which was first, but Satan was able to distort men and women's relationship so that their weaknesses build on each other until the relationship is so far from how it was intended. Satan's work is a nasty business indeed. Anyways, I am very thankful for each season I have been given with Clint. As I shared with Ally, he has helped teach me about God's love for me - the lover/beloved relationship God wants us to experience with him, I see glimpses of that through Clint's love, and it points me back to God. How Clint delights in me points me to the verse where the Bible says God: "...will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing" (Zeph. 3:17).

I am in a relationship with a God who already delights in me. Knowing someone delights in you imparts a certain freedom, a safety to be yourself and keep your heart open and encourages you to keep pursuing your best self. I have seen this through the love of my family, Clint, my roommates, and Tridelt friends in a big way this weekend. I am very thankful for these arrows pointing me to Heaven, to the God that delights in us.