August has arrived

August has made quite the entrance. August arrived on the scene in style. August has gotten off to a great start. The clichés describe it well.

August 1: Well, at midnight a group of ladies were still downtown for Megan Hassall’s bachelorette party. We had gone to the Spaghetti Factory for dinner and down Broadway to help her celebrate. She had a sash and a necklace – nothing scandalous. No penis straws like the last bachelorette party I attended. The scandalous part was found at Coyote Ugly. She had dice to roll for dares. Many men bought the bride-to-be drinks and even drinks for her friends. At Coyote Ugly she got up on the bar with some of the girls and I took pictures of them. I get to help plan my sister’s bachelorette party. August 18, 2009 is her big day. Friday night I went with Clint and his friend Mark to Chili’s for margarita happy hour. Hunter, one of Clint’s friends since forever, met us there with his cute girlfriend Faith. Megan Flynn and Jeremy, my friends since forever, came as well. We went downtown to the Demonbreun area to Dan McGuiness, an Irish pub, and saw Robin, who’s been in Seattle since June, and her Samford crew. I like going out on the town. I like being with friends and having some drinks and staying up late. Ah, the essence of summer. The major difference about this summer is I’ve been old enough to get in anywhere, have a drink if I so desire.

August 2: MEGAN HASSALL GOT MARRIED. Of course the wedding was beautiful, what was beautiful about it? Well, Megan Flynn and I got there early to see the bride before the ceremony. Megan and her groom Logan saw each other before the service to take the pressure off and ease the anxiety. Megan F, her boyfriend Alex, Clint, Robin and Robin’s family and I all got to sit together. The flowers were lovely, the music before the ceremony was lovely. My favorite stained glass window of Jesus was in full view. I kept thinking of how my sister is going to get married in the same sanctuary, and Lord willing, I will too. I finally got to wear my foxy dress and I had a pashmina to cover my shoulders in the church. Clint looked so handsome in his suit. Megan and I were tickled at seeing the other guests trickle in – people we’ve known all our lives. Laura White sang “Be Thou My Vision” from the balcony. I loved watching Logan. He was brimming with joy and pure love. A true reflection of Christ’s heart for His bride, the church. So amazing and wonderful in the true sense of the words. Love is patient, love is kind, and marriage is so beautiful and sacred and I’m so glad their ceremony captured that. They promised to faithfully love and care for each other until parted by death and had a passionate kiss to seal the deal. We blew bubbles as they exited the church and went to Cabana, an amazing place for a reception. Their first song was to Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” but as a surprise it switched to the techno version and we jumped in to join them. The food was great, the company was great (got to spend dinner with Robin’s family, Robin, Clint, Jeremy, Megan and Alex and even got a minute or two with the bride) the wine was great, the cake was great – I put it on Clint’s face. Haha. The dancing was fun. I loved dancing in my dress. A random dude danced with me and Clint was not pleased and so he left the dance floor and I could not find him for a little bit. Megan was ready to go so we did and once we got back to my house it looked like the party for my dad’s 50th was still going on so Clint took me to the grocery store and we got a midnight snack and drove around for a bit talking, resolving. At the reception it was a lot of socializing with friends so it was so nice to be able to have time alone with him. Few things make me happier. I’m still blown away by how I feel better and more peaceful with him – a peaceful easy feeling – after a month and a half than I did after a year and a half with someone else. Sometimes when it works it works. It’s so nice that it’s so easy. Simple as that. It’s nice when life is simple.

Makes me think of this quote that was on my Vitamin Water the other day:

If you woke up tired, you probably need more sleep. If you woke up drooling at your desk, you probably need a new job. If you woke up with a headache on a ferris wheel at the Idaho State Fair, wearing a toga, you probably need answers…and if you’re like our boss, mike, and woke up married to an elvis impersonator, you probably need a lawyer.

I like when life has simple answers. If you’re late, you probably need to leave 5 minutes earlier. There’s many simple answers. Many questions that don’t have simple answers, or answers that can be revealed now. I remember reading somewhere to learn to love the questions, to embrace them and embrace the process, life’s story with the end chapters ripped out, and I want to know what’s in store. Not knowing where I’ll be next year or what I’ll be doing has been driving me nuts. These last couple days I’ve felt much better about not knowing. I’m not going to know now, but I have some options. I took some time to pray about it, and to pray about my relationships and my vices, and as prayer tends to do I feel much better about life in general. If my heart could breathe it would already be breathing easier. It’s shuffled off some of the resentment and anxiety it had been shouldering. Money stresses me out. David Gray has this song called “Nightblindness” which is so haunting:


A million to one outsiders
Nightblindness
Cant see

Your bright eyes are what
The time is
Twenty five past eternity

Hear you listening
To the silence
Coming closer
Now further away

What we gonna do
When the money runs out
I wish that there was something left to say
Where we going to find the eyes to see
The bright of day

What we gonna do when the money runs out? So haunting. So devastating. Money is dangerous in the sense that it can ignite a panic of always needing more, wanting more. I need more money. How am I going to make money? What if once I finally get a job I loose it? I can’t worry about all that now. Worrying about all this will just drive me nuts. It had been driving me nuts. Things just work out. They do. They always have. Nothing will come my way that’s too big for me to handle because nothing will come my way that’s bigger than my God. That was the sermon today by our new preacher. He said, for every storm there’s an anchor. And that anchor is our faith in Jesus Christ.

Be of good cheer, Jesus said. In this world you will have trouble – it’s going to happen – but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world (John 16:33). He has weathered and overcome the worst of storms and can impart His strength, His strength that conquered death, to help us in our storms.

These words to live by have been on my heart these last couple days and have provided good guidance to me. In desiring to glorify God with my life, I’ve found that these two quotes offer practical guidance of how that could and should manifest itself in me. I’m nowhere close to living how I should and could, but they offer good direction.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa
The storms of worry regarding the future threaten to block the sun, block the light and the joy of the present. But I can be of good cheer because I have an anchor in the storm and very strong arms to hold me that will never fail or let me go.