I made my family disappear

I made my family disappear – Kevin from Home Alone

My parents and brothers have been in NYC since Wednesday morning so it kind of has felt like my family just disappeared.

It’s our house but it’s just me holding down the fort. It has been a nice change of pace. Of course I would prefer them being here as opposed to not being here, but it has been a nice reminder of what it’s like at college getting to go about on my own schedule and have my own space.

I’ve been the dutiful little house sitter, dog watcher, and plant waterer. I came in after my internship Wednesday and ate dinner right away (instead of waiting for it to be ready or waiting for everyone else to get home). I ate ice cream and chips. Oh snap. Made sure all the doors were locked at all times, but had my ferocious guard dogs who would sound the alarm if any intruder tried to come for me…but….one of my guard dog hears voices and often barks for no reason, hence, a handful of false alarms that sent me tiptoeing down the stairs armed with my cell phone in case I needed to call for real protection.

Silence and time alone is not scary for me and that’s held true this week. I’ve had time to just be and think – outside by the pool, in the morning when I’m waking up and starting the day, watering the flowers, walking the dogs, running ,reading, journaling. I can siiiiing and dance about and pick up my stuff when I want to. I’ve kept the place tidy – “left no trace” as my mom instructs.

I ran errands in my mom’s convertible and wore my sister’s clothes. I baked cookies and made Sangria for Fourth of July festivities, and went downtown Nashville with Jeremy and over to Clint’s for fireworks unconcerned about disturbing my peeps when I rolled in at whatever time those nights concluded.

Feels like I’ve been in the Garden of Eden when I go about watering the flowers. The past couple of days have been perfect – sunny, but not scorching, sun sparkling radiantly with a warmth that calms my heart and calls me to be still and bask in the peaceful light, topped off with a delicate breeze. So perfect.

I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, this peaceful. I’ve loved being free to move about this week on my own. And my heart feels so completely…free. And that’s made all the difference I feel.

Been trying to think of a good analogy for this week – like, I’m a tenant, this time is temporary, but soon the Master of the home will return. Good and faithful servant, you’ve been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many. Come and share in your Master’s happiness. My parents will see that I am responsible and can function on my own (somehow it happens in college…somehow…and when I come home there’s so much I apparently need in terms of instruction on how to function). I don’t mean this in a bitter way just in a “it is what it is” shrug. But maybe this is too much of a stretch, but since I felt like I was in the Garden of Eden, made me think of how we are all God’s tenants. He has entrusted us with “talents,” blessings, people in our life to love, and can glorify Him in the way we respond to His outpouring of love. Sometimes we do carry gifts as if they’re burdens…a line in a song I love. But God shows up and changes everything.

Turnin' molehills into mountains
Makin' big deals out of small ones
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens
This is how it's been
Afraid of coming out of my shell
Too many things I can't do too well
Afraid I'll try real hard
And I'll fail
This is how it's been
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door
And You shouted joyfully
You're not a slave anymore!

You're free to dance
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to Me
You're free to love
'Cause I've given you My love
And it's made you free
I have set you free!

I’ve felt this so much this week. “I’ve given you my love and it’s made you free.”

Yesterday, we celebrated the anniversary of our country’s freedom – but far better is the freedom in Christ. The chains are gone, we have been set free.