seasons of love

Just spent some time sitting out on the porch with my legs dangling over the balcony in the calm, cool night sky, thinking, praying, being still, taking it all in. Being still, being quieted by His love - God's love - and relishing in the love He's lavished on me these past years through the friends He's given me at Furman and the friend He's given me in Clint - the loves of my life, the love of my life. I had my last Tridelt chapter meeting tonight and it was happy, not sad or bittersweet. I have not cried all that much about graduation. Maybe I will get really emotional later; that's in my nature. For now, these last few weeks, I'm just relishing being here, being among my dearest friends, with glorious natural beauty right outside my door. It feels so nice outside. It calms me. It calmed me, sitting outside how I did, thinking about this place. There have been people here who have loved me, those who have hurt me; those who have appreciated me and those who don't give me a second thought; those who have laughed with me, cried with me, talked with me, danced with me, lived with me, shared with me, been with me through each season of life, each season of love. Through it all, God has taken care of me.

That was the resonating thought while I was sitting out there tonight - He has taken care of me. He never let my foot slip beyond His sheltering fold, His watchful care, His protective hold, just like He promised. It's as if through it all He's whispered to me (like the song says..) "I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever; I'll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to Heaven"...because it did.

Saving me from sin & Satan & my depravity & an eternity without Him did send Him to Heaven...dying out of love for me, for us all, so we may know Him and know freedom from sin and death and eternal suffering, sent Him back to Heaven. A friend of mine's blog said how during Easter the chorus of "bleeding love" by Leona Lewis (i keep bleedin', keep keep bleedin, i keep bleedin', keep keep bleedin' love -- something like that)is related to Christ, which I had never thought about but is so true. He kept bleeding out of love so He could always be with us, and even though He loved us to death - literally - He is still with us. Even though saving me did send Him (back) to Heaven, He's been there for me through it all; every season.

Ecclesiastes says there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven. Feels like it is appropriate, that it's the proper season, to close the Furman chapter, and perhaps that is why I am at peace with the end drawing near. Hmm.

Sitting on the porch also reminded me of An American Tail, and I watched the clip of the little mice singing to each other over and over again. The part "somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there," thinking foremost how I always prayed I'd find a love like the love I've received from Clint and the love I've received from my friends here at Furman.

I was telling Caroline Friday night how last spring I felt like Humpty Dumpty and God showed me His love in big ways through my friends and through Clint, and that love helped initiate the healing, helped point me to God, helped bring me back to life, back to myself, back to who He created me to be; it initiated the process of setting me back on the path of being free, where He intends for me to be. He has set my heart free and each day I press into this truth, this gift, the closer I get to the life He intended for me. :)

Though in the movie this song is sung between siblings, for me it is a love song, and I rest, I am calmed and comforted, knowing somewhere out there beneath the pale, gentle, soft moonlight, someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight, and that love is just one of the gifts of love that has been lavished on me by Love Himself.


Somewhere Out There, from the movie An American Tail

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
Seasons of love

It's there. I know it is, because when I look at you, I'm home - Dory, Finding Nemo