atonement.

Hello! Thanks for stopping by my old blog. This ol' thing hasn't been tended to since January. I have a new blog that I've been using for the past few months, that's why this one has been neglected. If you want to know the new one just ask me, I'd love to share it with you - I'm nice (most of the time), please ask! :)

Much has happened since January.

The "1L" year as a whole, both semesters, has been one 1L (said quickly sounds like "one hell" for good reason) of a year!

This blog reminds me of a wonderful person I used to date because back when we were together I would use this blog as a means of recording our adventures. Now that we are not together and are seeing other people it seems strange to me (just strange, not useless, on the contrary actually - I'm sure if I was to read back through it I would be reminded of some very good lessons learned and memories had)...but I would not dare stroll down memory lane NOW because my head and heart need to be focused here.

It's just that I had a dream about this person and his mom last night and it was bittersweet. Makes me wonder if our memories are bitter to him or sweet or both. Wherever he is, I hope he is happy, truly happy. I wish I could have treated him better, and well, wish I could have treated all my exs better. Part of me feels like I am paying for the things I did wrong in the past (karma), and that when I finish atoning for my indiscretions, then I will fully get to use the lessons learned and will stop learning and experience the purpose for all those lessons. I think I am on the right track. Trial by fire, always trial by fire with me. I don't get many things right the first time, or second time, or third time for that matter.

I have learned that relationships seem to boil down to just whether two people can put up with each other's "crazy." This is not an original idea (it's Megan Flynn's). Even if people love each other, I do not think love alone is enough to keep people together. The parties in the relationship need to be able to respond to their partner's needs and not be repelled when the person is crazy, a.k.a. their needs are super intense or unusual. People need different things - some people need to receive what seems like an excess of affection, or affirming words, or gifts, or quality time together, or even space, to feel loved and affirmed and appreciated, and to have a successful relationship, the other person needs to be able to meet that need, and not make the other person feel like they are requiring too much. You can't change someone or love them so much that they will love you back, but when they make the choice to love you back despite your crazy - because everybody has a crazy - that is a fine time indeed. Love + acknowledge & acceptance of the crazy = a recipe for success.

9 days 'til summer!!! 9 days marathon sprint to the finish, here we go......